christina.

I don’t know why tragedies have this way of bringing people together like few other things do – like we all want to experience the same sadness and heartbreak, and feel the same pain as everyone else. It’s so weird to me – I never want my strongest bond with someone to be over a shared painful memory.

But tonight, the Internet is bonded. Tonight our hearts collectively ache and we share the same confusion and anger. Tonight, a beautiful and talented 22 year old – who many, including myself, watched grow up via YouTube – is dead and we will never understand why.  What was the point? How does something like this even happen? Where was venue security, or even her own security detail? How are water bottles and cameras confiscated at concerts but guns manage to slip through the cracks? These mistakes are not okay – these are the type of mistakes that quite literally end lives.

My heart is absolutely shattered for her family. I can’t … I truly can’t begin to imagine their state of mind right now. Her parents will never understand why their daughter is gone. Their pain will never go away. Her brother, the guy who tackled a man with a gun to save his sister, will spend his life thinking he could have reacted faster, and done more. He will never forgive himself for the actions of an absolute sociopath. I’m trying to comprehend what he might be feeling at this moment and my brain won’t even let me go there. My brother is one of the most important humans in the world to me and if, God forbid, we were ever in a similar situation …  I would hate myself every single day for not doing more. For not being able to save him.

Her family’s pain will never be gone. Over time it will lessen but it will never go away. They will never have answers, or understand the reasons or motives behind this fucking insanity. For them there is no silver lining, no greater plan or lesson to be learned. Their lives are forever changed.

I have no political stance or life lesson at the end of this. Frankly I don’t think this is the time. I can leave you only with this: Love each other while you can. Tell those that you love how important they are to you, every chance you get. Love intensely. Love powerfully.

Love always.
Love all ways.

(This was my favourite Christina Grimme performance – from when she was on The Voice a few years back. I know everyone is talking about her cover of Titanium or her original music but… I just always really liked this one.)

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paris.

Tonight, I can’t sleep. Tonight, I am coming to you with tears in my eyes and a heart that is breaking. I’m not sure if it’s because I’m currently reading a book detailing the events of one of the most well-known American tragedies of our time, or simply because I can’t fathom how this keeps happening. I really can’t. I don’t care about your political views or your opinions on gun control, today’s (yesterday’s) events in Paris should never, ever happen.

Just a few days ago, I sat with a large number of people and spent the morning honouring those who put their lives on the line to protect my country. We were reminded of the sacrifice that were made by the soldiers of WWI , and the sacrifices that continue to be made every day, so that we can live a happy, healthy life under the protection of these brave men and women. We remembered the fallen and showed our respect for those currently serving, and the whole time, I was overwhelmed by how lucky I am to live in this great country. The attack in Ottawa last year shook me in a unique way. The feelings of fear and helplessness I experienced while watching the news coverage, surrounded by my coworkers, are not anything I ever want to feel again. However at this point I’m sure that I will again in the future. I couldn’t believe that it could happen in Canada – my Canada.

As a human being, I feel so violated when I hear about these terrorist attacks. Every person has the right to feel safe, and when cowards like those today (yesterday) in Paris threaten that safety, it destroys us as people a little more. We only get one shot at this “mankind” thing, guys – we can’t waste that shot killing each other. Hatred and evil is found in cowards and villains, but bravery and love is found in each of us, and it will always win – that’s not something that only happens in fairy tales.

Because I am, always have been, and always will be a silver lining kind of person, I’m desperate for some kind of positive message or sign of hope to come out of this, and thanks to Hank Green, I have one. Tonight, there was one act of terrorism in Paris, but tonight, the great majority of acts in Paris were out of heroism and love. There will always be heroes, helpers, and those who put their lives on the line for the sake of others. These are the people that mankind will always need, and I am forever thankful that they exist.

While I love seeing countries unite in the wake of senseless and unnecessary tragedies like these, I wish it …lasted longer.  I wish we as people would learn, take these experiences and somehow, create a plan to eliminate terrorism and hate. I’m not smart enough to create that plan. I don’t have the answers, obviously. But I believe they’re out there. Terrorism will never destroy democracy, and while it may take a chip out of us sometimes, terrorism will never destroy mankind. We cannot – and will not – let it.

Tonight, we stand with Paris. Tonight, we are all Parisians. Ce soir, nous sommes tous Parisiens.

peaceforparis